Lard the Emo One ([info]anti_corn) wrote,
2005-07-18 21:26:00
  • Mood: crushed
Harry Potter was a blast! (to read book review, click the link to my Xanga below)

I am feeling really crappy. I was so psyched about the Student Life camp... and I came back with an awesome attitude, and I got a book from my teacher on 1Peter. But now, I am... well... the "spark" is flickering greatly. I need moral support... I need to go back to the fourth day of camp and keep on crying. I couldn't stop then, because God is so awesome... but now it seems as if I'm reverting back to my old ways... I'm becoming depressed because I can't be happy, and because I'm again sticking God on the back-burner. Why can't I keep that feeling of pure joy any longer than two-four days? I am crying on the inside now... I can't cry on the outside anymore... I've done it so much it's becoming meaningless. I want to know how God can love me soooooooooo much, but I can't seem to accept myself? I am so depressed about that right now. I need to be held...

click me for link

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  • 6 comments

[info]miss_reed

July 19 2005, 02:51:26 UTC 6 years ago

What can I do to help you Steven? I'm here, any time you wanna peddle your bike on over and I'll do my best to hold you (it might be a bit problematic with the size difference and all). I think everyone has a hard time accepting themself (themselves?), I know that I do. Don't worry. While God should always be first in your thoughts, he knows he's always first in your heart.

[info]like__thunder

July 19 2005, 05:28:08 UTC 6 years ago

dear steven,
read the book "be happy, dammit". it made me smile.
Any hype for anything ends or fades away eventually. You may not be all psyched about God but you can still keep your whole "God is soooo awesome" thing going. Just don't forget all the stuff you learned or the way you felt, keep going to church&doing whatever you do to keep you connected. I don't know any teenager that accepts themself whether if they are completely religious or not religious at all. I think self acceptance comes slowly, but I think it comes easier if you believe that other people accept you. I know a lot of people accept you and you know God accepts you, so eventually you'll accept yourself.
love, jessssica

[info]anti_corn

July 19 2005, 19:24:11 UTC 6 years ago

thank you

[info]wolf_of_heart

July 19 2005, 17:31:28 UTC 6 years ago

<3

[info]anti_corn

July 19 2005, 19:24:50 UTC 6 years ago

??? you left no message?

[info]umi_chan

July 19 2005, 22:53:25 UTC 6 years ago

i totally know that feeling of crying on the inside but not on the outside i wish you could find some way to let out your feelings like writing or music or art something creative or i suppose destructive would work as long as youre not hurting yourself or anyone else yeah wish i could help more
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